Anxiety and phobias
Social anxiety is not the same as shyness.
You come across as capable, but pay a high price for it inside
Perhaps you prepare every conversation thoroughly, fear blushing, or endlessly replay afterwards what you said. Social anxiety is not the same as shyness. Often the expectation plays a part that others will see something negative in you.
We look at which experiences and beliefs feed the anxiety. After that we work on less self monitoring, more attention for the actual contact, and taking on situations you now avoid. When earlier rejection or humiliation keeps a lot of charge, EMDR can fit.
Sound familiar?
What social anxiety actually looks like
What others see is someone doing well. What you notice is this.
- You rehearse a question in your head before asking it
- You blush, shake or sweat, and fear that it shows
- After a conversation you replay for hours what you said
- You cancel when the group is unfamiliar
- You avoid roles that would make you visible
Where it comes from
Where it comes from
There are usually concrete moments underneath: being laughed at in class, a presentation that went wrong, a manager who corrected you in front of the group, or years of feeling that you only counted when you performed. Those moments left a conclusion behind, usually along the lines of "something is wrong with me" or "if they really see me, they will be disappointed".
A possible approach
A possible approach
The support focuses on the belief underneath and on the behaviour that keeps the anxiety in place. What we do exactly depends on what is going on for you.
- Working out which belief sits under the anxiety
- Shifting attention from yourself to the other person
- Taking on avoided situations step by step
- EMDR when earlier rejection or humiliation carries a lot of charge
Practical
- Duration
- in consultation, depending on what is going on
- Rate per session
- Location
- Sarphatistraat 14, Amsterdam city centre, or online
60 minutes
Step by step
How the support runs
- 1
Intro call
Fifteen minutes on the phone. For many people with social anxiety that is already a step, and I know it.
- 2
Intake
We map which situations create tension and which ones you have started avoiding.
- 3
Working on it
Working on the belief, less self monitoring and taking on situations, at your pace.
- 4
In real life
We agree concrete steps in your own work and life, and look at how they went.
Frequently asked questions
No. Shyness is about needing a moment to warm up. Social anxiety is about expecting to be judged and rejected, and about the avoidance that follows.
That is for you to decide. Many people come not because things go wrong, but because keeping them going takes too much energy.
No. We build up in steps you can handle. What you do in real life is something we agree together.
That is very common. We then also look at the fear of the visible symptom, because that often keeps the problem going more than the blushing itself.
Experiences
Prefer independent reviews?
In line with the professional code for psychologists I do not publish client testimonials on my own site. If you want to read how others experienced the support, ZorgkaartNederland is the place to look.
Other fears
First see whether it clicks
A free fifteen minute phone call. You do not have to decide anything yet.